The Day After...
*You caught me, this was taken from my old blog. But I love this one....*
I am so happy to be able to write this blog from the comfort of my own sofa, with my son asleep next to me in his moses basket, with the golf on, while my wife rests in bed after the toughest 4 days of our lives. I know this has been a highly anticipated blog and I hope it lives up to everyones expectations!
So if I did a whole blow by blow account of whats gone on since my last blog, I would be writing a novel. So long story short, my wife began early labour on Wednesday. She spent all of Wednesday night, Thursday day, Thursday night and Friday day in labour (applause here). Then after all of that hard work she put in and pain she suffered through, only getting 5 hours sleep over 3 nights, our son was back to back. So she ended up having to have a caesarean section on Friday late evening. So at 7:45pm on Friday 20th April, our son, Rory Sebastian Davies was born. By far the best days of our lives (apart from all of the pain and suffering my wife had to go through). My wife then spent a further 2 nights in hospital, and we arrived home today. So that is the very very quick version of how our son was born.
One thing I did want to put into this blog was how amazing my wife is. She managed to deal with all that pain, all that suffering and still stayed calm, relaxed, patient and happy. We had 7 different midwives over the few days (may have been more but I met 7), and they all said that she is so calm and relaxed and they have never seen anybody who was 9cm dilated for 5 hours be so relaxed. She had senior doctors coming in to examine her, who at first glance, didn't even think she was in labour as she was so relaxed. So a massive massive thank you goes out to her who has looked after our son for 9 months and been so incredible over the last few days.
Now, the dad bit, the bits that nobody will ever prepare you for, the bits that nobody actually tells you about. These are the bits I have found the toughest over the past few days and I am sure that there are dads out there who will agree or dads out there who will appreciate the advice.
Speak up - many of you will be thinking "its not my job to tell the midwives or doctors what my wife wants or needs, or tell my wife what she needs" but you have to. You have to be able to stand up and tell them what your wife needs in her time of need. Don't be scared to ask questions or speak your mind, you have the right to know whats going on. You have to remember you are the dad, and as clueless as I may have been before this week, I quickly learnt about it all as I wanted to make sure my wife and son were ok. So first bit of advice future dads, stand up for your family and make sure you are confident to tell them when your wife wants or needs.
Labour - now this for us was quite a different experience for most as it lasted so long, but whatever labour your partner has, you MUST be as positive as you can. It doesn't matter how frustrated, how fed up, how tired you get. Your wife is going through more, your wife is the one in discomfort and pain so you have to put all of your own problems aside and step up to the mark. I would like to think I did this, but my wife may tell you differently. But you can make labour a much better and easier experience by just being a positive and supportive partner.
Pain - this is the hardest thing you will have to deal with, seeing your partner in a world of pain that you cannot help with. I know people tell you about this bit, but I promise you, nobody will ever be able to prepare you for it. Along with all this, I had to spend a short space of time (felt like eternity), outside theatre where they were doing the c-section while they got my wife ready. You will cry, you will call your mum and you will sit in a dark room when your alone, trying to forget or figure out a way to help her, but there is no way unfortunately. Now that all sounds very horrible and stressful, but I wanted to be honest.
Now with all that in mind, you forget it all the minute they put your new born baby in your arms. Friday feels an eternity ago already, because we have our amazing son who is our little miracle. He is home, he is fine and he is amazing.
This blog may not be what you were all expecting, but as you can imagine, the past 5 days have been a real rollercoaster and I don't think it has all fully processed just yet. I have already changed 6 nappies, 4 outfits and been sprayed by the human fountain, but it still hasn't fully sunk in what has happened. So expect another blog later in the week with more information about all this. Until then, I am going to enjoy spending time with my wife and my son and build up many memories and stories to share with you all.
If you are yet to see what Rory looks like, follow my instagram @daddy_davies, to get all of the baby updates and millions of pictures (ok 5 so far).